"Who we are" is mostly what we do and say. However, it's a serious mistake to take one flaw or behavior and use it as a basis for generalizing about a person. Teachers are not all alike. Lawyers are not all created equal. I like all sorts of people who have habits that I disapprove of, and I wouldn't say those people are "their bad" behaviors. We also all have inherent worth as humans,--or if you're religious, as god's children--regardless of our actions.
This works the other way, too. If you have one talent or trait that you are proud of, that's great, but that's not "you."
All this is obvious enough, but some people apparently don't know it.
This one's for (but not about) you, Leigh.
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Note: I always read Ryan's blog. He told me to comment, but I feel a little silly doing so as I can talk to him face to face. However, as this post was created for me I feel compelled to share.
Last week I reconnected with a friend from my freshman ward at BYU. I won't get into all the specifics, but in the last 18 months he has "come out" and is living with his partner (who also grew up LDS).
My mind has been utterly consumed with a comment he made.
"One of my favorite phrases: I do not agree with the homosexual lifestyle, but I still love the individual." I guess since love is not shown by what you say but by what you do, in the future I plan to ask proponents of Prop 8 how it is that they love gay people."
Thanks Ryan. I completely agree that we, as God's children, are all of significant worth despite poor choices and behaviors. People can feel homosexuality is wrong and therefore be "antigay" but in no way hate gay people. I think a lot of the 'yes on 8' people are "antigay" in that way, but it does not mean they hate gay people, it just means they don't think homosexuality should be embraced or accepted by our society.
I wonder how my friend would feel if the tables were turned and I had dropped this news on him while he was still an active member of the church. He asked me to tell him honestly how I felt about his "coming out." Well, what does he want me to say..."Hooray! I'm so happy you're gay!?!" He writes that he has cut off ties with most of his LDS friends because they don't support his choice to be "happy".
I felt backed into a corner at first. I can say I'm happy for him and supportive of his decision and then we can stay friends. Or I can say I care about you, but I do not support your lifestyle and that’s it, our friendship is over. He grew up in our church, was raised by good and faithful parents, served a mission, and I thought he had a testimony. Well, I am not about to start compromising my beliefs so I can tell him what he wants to hear. And I didn’t. I do still care for him as a person despite his decisions.
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